My last injection was the last day of June. It's now close to four weeks later, but not quite. Still, my body has begun to feel a loss of energy.
Thinking through the circumstances – slept well, ate a big lunch, kept warm, hydrated – there's no other reason besides B12 deficiency why my body all of the sudden feels fatigue. Except for one thing. I've cut down on eating meat. The only reason for not eating meat in the last week is because I don't feel well after eating meat and starch together, and I haven't had much time to shop and cook at home. So, I've grabbed meals on the go or went to restaurants. Most of my meals have been vegetarian. But on Monday, I ate a generous portion of hanger steak cooked medium rare. It's two days later.
But as the past has shown, no amount of meat-eating prevents the fatigue and dizziness from setting in. The only thing that has stopped the symptoms has been a vitamin B12 injection.
My head feels like it has less blood. All I want to do right now is lie down.
I wonder if turning 41 this month has anything to do with this shorter duration of feeling vibrant and quicker onset of fatigue. There was a time when my body could go months, even years without an injection. Not anymore.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Injection Due
It has been nearly four weeks since last month's anemia. According to my menstrual cycle, now is about the time for anemia to set in. And it has. In spite of eating a high-iron breakfast and Vitamin C from a lime, dizziness and shortness of breath slowed me down at the farmer's market.
Depression is another symptom of low B12. It's a beautiful day outside, breezy though warm. It's nicer outside than inside an un-airconditioned apartment. But I don't have the energy or will to be outside. My hesitation to take my injection is directly due to an unwillingness to stick a needle into my body.
I do have a choice. Stick it or die.
Depression is another symptom of low B12. It's a beautiful day outside, breezy though warm. It's nicer outside than inside an un-airconditioned apartment. But I don't have the energy or will to be outside. My hesitation to take my injection is directly due to an unwillingness to stick a needle into my body.
I do have a choice. Stick it or die.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Nerve Damage
My mother warned me again and again that missing an injection could lead to nerve damage. Why would I not heed to the warning of a doctor so esteemed that she had patients who would travel over 100 miles to see her? It's less because of a mother /daughter relationship than me being risky and trying to figure out how to avoid sticking a hypodermic needle into my thigh.
On the fifth day after taking the emergency injection, I tried not to worry that pins and needles still relentlessly poked my hands and feet. I called my mom. Her mother's instinct knew even though I said nothing about the numbness. She yelled at me.
That day, in spite of the new funny feeling, I realized that my energy level was quickly on its way back up. New blood cells were multiplying.
Permanent nerve damage? Lumosity.com, a site with games that improve brain function and even helps people with damage to their nervous systems, gives hope. Why should I not also hope?
On day 6, I tested my renewed energy and briskly walked from the subway station to a friend's party. Though mentally not fully engaged with the usual intensity that comes with the New York rush, my feet carried away as if nothing was wrong. At the party, while seated and in conversation, the possibility of damage became real as warm prickles radiated on the left side of my face and then switched to the right. The tingling didn't last, but it lingered long enough.
Later on in the evening, my friend who is a fitness trainer and knows about massage pressed hard on my hands. Usually if she does that it hurts. This time it didn't. I could feel pressure but could not sense how much.
On day 7, the pins and needles seemed to start subsiding. I don't know if the numbness had started to wear off or if I started growing accustomed to it.
Nerve damage as a result of low B12 occurs in the spine. That's what an article said anyway. Pins and needles are felt mostly peripherally in limbs.
A Livestrong article stated that permanent nerve damage occurs after considerable time with low levels of Vitamin B12. I haven't been any longer than 2 months without an injection for years. So the damage couldn't be permanent, could it?
On the fifth day after taking the emergency injection, I tried not to worry that pins and needles still relentlessly poked my hands and feet. I called my mom. Her mother's instinct knew even though I said nothing about the numbness. She yelled at me.
That day, in spite of the new funny feeling, I realized that my energy level was quickly on its way back up. New blood cells were multiplying.
Permanent nerve damage? Lumosity.com, a site with games that improve brain function and even helps people with damage to their nervous systems, gives hope. Why should I not also hope?
On day 6, I tested my renewed energy and briskly walked from the subway station to a friend's party. Though mentally not fully engaged with the usual intensity that comes with the New York rush, my feet carried away as if nothing was wrong. At the party, while seated and in conversation, the possibility of damage became real as warm prickles radiated on the left side of my face and then switched to the right. The tingling didn't last, but it lingered long enough.
Later on in the evening, my friend who is a fitness trainer and knows about massage pressed hard on my hands. Usually if she does that it hurts. This time it didn't. I could feel pressure but could not sense how much.
On day 7, the pins and needles seemed to start subsiding. I don't know if the numbness had started to wear off or if I started growing accustomed to it.
Nerve damage as a result of low B12 occurs in the spine. That's what an article said anyway. Pins and needles are felt mostly peripherally in limbs.
A Livestrong article stated that permanent nerve damage occurs after considerable time with low levels of Vitamin B12. I haven't been any longer than 2 months without an injection for years. So the damage couldn't be permanent, could it?
Friday, June 8, 2012
Like a Hyper-Chlorinated Pool
For most of the day today, breathing has felt like being at an indoor pool where evaporated chlorine gets inhaled. Or it feels like breathing menthol, or the mint from a strong mint candy.
Nearly two hours into the 4th day, I'm still tired, but not fatigued. Napping is a nice idea, but not necessary.
If red blood cells take 4 days to form, and if in fact my red blood cell count was really low (I don't know for a fact since I haven't taken any tests), then now the count is increasing.
Improvement is slow, but certain. It's like watching seeds sprout. After a few days in a damp sprouting jar, little plants begin to shed their seed hulls to become sprouts. They don't shed their hulls at once. Some are quick and some don't lose their hulls until another day later.
The slowness could just be that my bone marrow can only make so many cells at a time. At any rate, the lightheadedness is gone and my breathing is more or less normal. My lungs still feel like they've just breathed chlorine-filled air. Maybe it's all the CO2 transferring out that was previously stuck without a carrier. Hmm, maybe I should go breathe next to the tree in my living room.
Nearly two hours into the 4th day, I'm still tired, but not fatigued. Napping is a nice idea, but not necessary.
If red blood cells take 4 days to form, and if in fact my red blood cell count was really low (I don't know for a fact since I haven't taken any tests), then now the count is increasing.
Improvement is slow, but certain. It's like watching seeds sprout. After a few days in a damp sprouting jar, little plants begin to shed their seed hulls to become sprouts. They don't shed their hulls at once. Some are quick and some don't lose their hulls until another day later.
The slowness could just be that my bone marrow can only make so many cells at a time. At any rate, the lightheadedness is gone and my breathing is more or less normal. My lungs still feel like they've just breathed chlorine-filled air. Maybe it's all the CO2 transferring out that was previously stuck without a carrier. Hmm, maybe I should go breathe next to the tree in my living room.
Day 4 Approaches
As the 96th hour after the injection approaches, I can start to feel that it's actually warm in my apartment. I started feeling better about an hour ago. Though I still find breathing difficult, my hands are no longer cold and numb.
Every day since Tuesday, the act of thinking had been difficult. I could only sit at my work computer for about an hour before getting lightheaded and having to lie down. Now I can sit without a backrest and my arms no longer need to be propped up.
So much to do and so little time! All of the sudden, a list of things I have to do ran through my head. Do I have the energy? Will I be able to walk down the street without having to sit down or stop?
The last four days were a huge lesson to me, and I hope for others with this deficiency.
Vitamin B12 deficiency is no joke. It's not psychosomatic. It isn't something that can be healed with a placebo. Even if a person's B12 level is tested "normal", it's possible that a deficiency can still occur at some other lesser-known physiological process.
The important thing to remember is that the human body simply can not survive without B12. It's the factor of cell replication and energy metabolism that we so easily take for granted, especially among vegetarians. But the fact is, we are omnivores. I'm not against those who choose to be vegetarians. Vegetarianism is more environmentally sustainable. But we are homines sapientes. We are not designed to eat grass. It must be processed in order to take advantage of its nutrients. Otherwise, we eat meat. We can even eat meat raw.
Twenty years ago, I tried to be a vegetarian. It lasted 8 months before I became too weak to play sports. A blood test came back that said my B12 level was low. By the time my blood was tested, I had already started to eat meat again. But it was too late. My body no longer would process this complex vitamin from the foods I ate.
For 20 years I tried many diets. I even ate raw food. And every few months, the same problem occurred. This time, the problem lasted too long.
Every day since Tuesday, the act of thinking had been difficult. I could only sit at my work computer for about an hour before getting lightheaded and having to lie down. Now I can sit without a backrest and my arms no longer need to be propped up.
So much to do and so little time! All of the sudden, a list of things I have to do ran through my head. Do I have the energy? Will I be able to walk down the street without having to sit down or stop?
The last four days were a huge lesson to me, and I hope for others with this deficiency.
Vitamin B12 deficiency is no joke. It's not psychosomatic. It isn't something that can be healed with a placebo. Even if a person's B12 level is tested "normal", it's possible that a deficiency can still occur at some other lesser-known physiological process.
The important thing to remember is that the human body simply can not survive without B12. It's the factor of cell replication and energy metabolism that we so easily take for granted, especially among vegetarians. But the fact is, we are omnivores. I'm not against those who choose to be vegetarians. Vegetarianism is more environmentally sustainable. But we are homines sapientes. We are not designed to eat grass. It must be processed in order to take advantage of its nutrients. Otherwise, we eat meat. We can even eat meat raw.
Twenty years ago, I tried to be a vegetarian. It lasted 8 months before I became too weak to play sports. A blood test came back that said my B12 level was low. By the time my blood was tested, I had already started to eat meat again. But it was too late. My body no longer would process this complex vitamin from the foods I ate.
For 20 years I tried many diets. I even ate raw food. And every few months, the same problem occurred. This time, the problem lasted too long.
Today Is the End of Day 3
In my 20 years of being B12 deficient, it has never taken this long to recover. I feel continually like I have just given blood. Constantly feeling on the verge of passing out. Numb and cold. Exhausted after simple tasks like making coffee.
Yesterday was the start of Day 3 of having a fresh supply of vitamin B12 injected into my thigh muscle. I started wondering if this is what it feels like in the beginning of pregnancy. God bless you men who love your wives, girlfriends, sisters, and mothers. Women have to go through these kinds of feelings every month with every menstrual cycle. We lose iron to the uterus at the off chance that a fertilized egg will be implanted. For the 400 or so menstrual cycles a woman has in her lifetime, less than 1% of those cycles for most women results in the birth of a child. For the other 390-something times, we become anemic. I don't ever want to hear a man bitch or moan about being tired or stressed out.
Obviously, the thought of what pregnant women go through brought me to wonder about the length of time it's taking now to recover. Looking back at my calendar, I see that my last menstrual period started 21 days ago. This means that it's prime time for menstrual anemia. But since my body lacked the B12 needed to make new red blood cells to keep the iron that prevents anemia, this blog is now active.
In the past, I've tried keeping journals of this health madness. But I'm too inconsistent and distractible to keep it up. Hence, this horrible experience.
After the needle goes through the skin, the rest is easy. The needle point is so sharp, it can hardly be felt. I hope one day to not be afraid of sticking myself that this procrastination would not result in 4, nearly 5 wasted days of life.
Yesterday was the start of Day 3 of having a fresh supply of vitamin B12 injected into my thigh muscle. I started wondering if this is what it feels like in the beginning of pregnancy. God bless you men who love your wives, girlfriends, sisters, and mothers. Women have to go through these kinds of feelings every month with every menstrual cycle. We lose iron to the uterus at the off chance that a fertilized egg will be implanted. For the 400 or so menstrual cycles a woman has in her lifetime, less than 1% of those cycles for most women results in the birth of a child. For the other 390-something times, we become anemic. I don't ever want to hear a man bitch or moan about being tired or stressed out.
Obviously, the thought of what pregnant women go through brought me to wonder about the length of time it's taking now to recover. Looking back at my calendar, I see that my last menstrual period started 21 days ago. This means that it's prime time for menstrual anemia. But since my body lacked the B12 needed to make new red blood cells to keep the iron that prevents anemia, this blog is now active.
In the past, I've tried keeping journals of this health madness. But I'm too inconsistent and distractible to keep it up. Hence, this horrible experience.
After the needle goes through the skin, the rest is easy. The needle point is so sharp, it can hardly be felt. I hope one day to not be afraid of sticking myself that this procrastination would not result in 4, nearly 5 wasted days of life.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Dizziness
It took over 4 and a half hours since leaving the attorney's office to get on a train home.
I didn't want to go one more day without a supply of slow-roasted coffee beans that aren't burnt like Starbucks or bitter like some other coffees. Whole Foods was on the way toward Brooklyn ... on foot.
It was beautiful outside. There were no rain clouds in sight. On the way, I stopped in a mom and pop Indian clothing store and picked up a couple tunic tops for $10 each; sat on a chair near Madison Square Park to rest and wrote a blog post; and sat on a bench in front of Fish's Eddy, a store that sells fancy secondhand restaurant supplies, and wrote another blog post.
Hunger started to set in, so I stopped at a Goodburger restaurant. While waiting to make my order, I got faint with tennis ball head and the room started looking like TV snow. In spite of backing away from the counter to take a seat, one of the cashiers took my order from 8 feet away. "You better get some food in you," she said.
The burger totally rocked. I ate it without a bun and without ketchup. It was grass-fed deliciousness paired with lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickles, mayo, and mustard. I drank some vitamin C-fortified apple juice (absorbic acid, which comes from corn) since I had read that vitamin C helps with iron absorption.
By the time I left the burger place, it had started raining. I made my way, step by step, toward Whole Foods. When I couldn't take the cold anymore, I went into a Petco store and browsed through dog toys and treats. Penny got a new toy.
The rain stopped and so I ventured out across Union Square toward Whole Foods. I really didn't know another place to get decent coffee beans. Dunkin Donuts is acceptable, but their coffee bags are made with plastic. No thanks. It didn't make sense to take a cab across the square, so I went step by step, occasionally losing balance.
Whole Foods of course was bustling. It was 8 o'clock in the evening and people were having post-work shopping time.
The iron from the burger I ate on the way seemed to begin helping. Iron attaches to blood cells in the form of hemoglobin, which is what gives red blood its color. Hemoglobin's job is to pick up oxygen from the lungs, leave it with cells in the body, and pick up carbon dioxide and other waste molecules brought back to the lungs for the exhale.
Finally checking out with coffee beans and a few other items, I headed toward the subway. Question was, which one? If I had taken the 4 train, I would have had to walk further to get home. I opted for the F train. Unfortunately, I got confused and forgot the F train was just as far away to walk as the 4.
I tried to sit and rest as much as possible.
On the way to the F train, I saw a Foot Locker store called Run. I needed running shoes that fit me properly, and I wanted to make sure I got my heart strong after this anemic madness was over. So I went in and sat down on the bench to stare at the options. It was after 9 p.m. when I chose a pair to take home.
Finally, at 9:40 p.m., I was on the train.
The world started looking much more stable. The spinning stopped after settling back comfortably into a seat. The burger must have kicked in. It was consumed almost 3 hours earlier.
Outside the train station, it was like discovering walking again. Though the dizziness was gone, each step still felt out of sorts. Pins and needles, lactic acid build up, and tender feet. At least tennis ball head was gone.
I didn't want to go one more day without a supply of slow-roasted coffee beans that aren't burnt like Starbucks or bitter like some other coffees. Whole Foods was on the way toward Brooklyn ... on foot.
It was beautiful outside. There were no rain clouds in sight. On the way, I stopped in a mom and pop Indian clothing store and picked up a couple tunic tops for $10 each; sat on a chair near Madison Square Park to rest and wrote a blog post; and sat on a bench in front of Fish's Eddy, a store that sells fancy secondhand restaurant supplies, and wrote another blog post.
Hunger started to set in, so I stopped at a Goodburger restaurant. While waiting to make my order, I got faint with tennis ball head and the room started looking like TV snow. In spite of backing away from the counter to take a seat, one of the cashiers took my order from 8 feet away. "You better get some food in you," she said.
The burger totally rocked. I ate it without a bun and without ketchup. It was grass-fed deliciousness paired with lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickles, mayo, and mustard. I drank some vitamin C-fortified apple juice (absorbic acid, which comes from corn) since I had read that vitamin C helps with iron absorption.
By the time I left the burger place, it had started raining. I made my way, step by step, toward Whole Foods. When I couldn't take the cold anymore, I went into a Petco store and browsed through dog toys and treats. Penny got a new toy.
The rain stopped and so I ventured out across Union Square toward Whole Foods. I really didn't know another place to get decent coffee beans. Dunkin Donuts is acceptable, but their coffee bags are made with plastic. No thanks. It didn't make sense to take a cab across the square, so I went step by step, occasionally losing balance.
Whole Foods of course was bustling. It was 8 o'clock in the evening and people were having post-work shopping time.
The iron from the burger I ate on the way seemed to begin helping. Iron attaches to blood cells in the form of hemoglobin, which is what gives red blood its color. Hemoglobin's job is to pick up oxygen from the lungs, leave it with cells in the body, and pick up carbon dioxide and other waste molecules brought back to the lungs for the exhale.
Finally checking out with coffee beans and a few other items, I headed toward the subway. Question was, which one? If I had taken the 4 train, I would have had to walk further to get home. I opted for the F train. Unfortunately, I got confused and forgot the F train was just as far away to walk as the 4.
I tried to sit and rest as much as possible.
On the way to the F train, I saw a Foot Locker store called Run. I needed running shoes that fit me properly, and I wanted to make sure I got my heart strong after this anemic madness was over. So I went in and sat down on the bench to stare at the options. It was after 9 p.m. when I chose a pair to take home.
Finally, at 9:40 p.m., I was on the train.
The world started looking much more stable. The spinning stopped after settling back comfortably into a seat. The burger must have kicked in. It was consumed almost 3 hours earlier.
Outside the train station, it was like discovering walking again. Though the dizziness was gone, each step still felt out of sorts. Pins and needles, lactic acid build up, and tender feet. At least tennis ball head was gone.
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